A friend who writes a regular blog on government reform-related issues once observed that he always reached the most readers when he posted a Top Ten List of…just about anything. A lengthy, carefully researched column never aroused as much response as a list of undocumented opinions arranged in some order of priority.
With that in mind – and with the understanding, everyone with a computer is now compiling a year-end/year-beginning Top Ten List of something – I want to offer you some prioritized, undocumented opinions you might not be seeing elsewhere.
https://flic.kr/p/UbMfAi
I’m sure the nation is about to be inundated with lists related to our P-p-president. (Sorry, I can’t even write that without gagging or stuttering.) I want to look beyond Donald Trump and examine a serious issue with which we as a society will have to deal when he’s gone. I offer it under the assumption, mistaken or otherwise, that some remnant of the democratic process will remain in his wake.
And while I’m sure many of his most ardent supporters believe once he’s dethroned the future leader will be chosen in a battle between Jr, Jared, and Bannon (if he runs) – until Ivanka swoops in on her dragon and wipes them all out – I begin with the outlandish concept that we will elect someone who will advance an agenda favored by the majority.
With that qualification in mind, I offer you my solution to what will very shortly be our nation’s pronounced prison problem; i.e., What do we do with all the space after marijuana is decriminalized and young black men are no longer incarcerated for possession? We can’t just leave the cells vacant. America’s prison industry needs a continuous flow of “consumers” just like any other enterprise. We must be prepared.
As the first step in that preparation, I would like to present the Top Ten List of people who should be incarcerated to keep our prison system healthy and vibrant after weed is legal.
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Every “Super-delegate” who helped Hillary Clinton steal the Democratic nomination.
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Every elected official who participated in the drawing of electoral districts determined to be “gerrymandered” by a court.
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Any Congressman or Senator who voted for the Trump budget rip-off.
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People who harm animals for fun or sport.
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People who cut down healthy trees to build “McMansions” when vacant ones are for sale down the block.
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Anyone named “Koch.” Even the poor ones. We have to be sure to get them all.
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That douchebag who apparently yelled, “St. Stephen!” before every song performed by the Grateful Dead throughout the Seventies and Eighties. (You know who you are.)
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Anyone who believes the story of Noah’s Ark.
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The jerk who came up with the Designated Hitter. If he's dead, dig him up and lock him up.
That still leaves us with a few million open cells. Hmmm. How about…
- Every lobbyist who paid a de facto bribe to a politician and every politician who accepted one.
Oops. Better start building more prisons.